My wife’s a stripper

Yes, so my wife’s a stripper. And some people they give me a hard time. Because, they’re like “do you know what they do at those places”. And im like yes, that’s where i met her. People are shocked. Im like, do you know how many men your chick really fucked? Cause it’s like 3 times more than she told you. She didnt even tell you about those two guys who were friends. That she let do things to her that you still havent done! I’m just playing. Im not saying your girl was a slut. Im just saying it’s possible. At least for me, nothing i do is going to surprise her. When she walks into the strip club with her robe on and bed head. Trying to embarrass me and ask what I’m doing there? I can just say you knew i liked strip clubs when you met me. But women don’t care. They be like. “That was then, and this is now”! Im like, what the fuck does that mean? Of course that’s true. That was then, this is now? I get it. It’s like when a woman says “do you know what it feels like to give birth”? Or “do you know what it’s like to bleed every month”? When a woman starts talking like that? Just say your sorry and that she looks pretty. Yes guys, if you have not heard this? You just havent been with her long enough yet. The moment she thinks you have an edge in an argument? Lol, good luck! 

People are crazy II

People have lost their minds. We’ve all lost our minds. People are reading more about jada pinkett smiths vagina than they are about how to get a job. They don’t want a job. Come on. Who u trying to fool? I just saw a sign at subway. He wasnt there! He or she would rather get A check for doing nothing. People spend more time complaining about how bad they have it than they do thinking about how to make themselves happy. What the fuck happened. When did we become so caught up in bullshit? People are bored, that’s why. As soon as there is a disaster, school shooting, scandal. Everyone unites in their groups and supports those that have experienced peril. Then, 5 days later they’ve moved on and watching naked and afraid. Im not hatin. Ive watched it. I cant help it. It’s like a donkey show. You shouldnt watch, but you cant look away. I cant explain it. Its brilliant though. This guy convinced men and women to apply for a chance to spend 21 days in an unknown country and location, naked and afraid! I cant get a chick to spend the night at my apartment after Ruths chris steak house and roses. That was my bad. I should have asked the girl from the foodcourt out. Instead, i asked the girl that works at nordstrom. Anyways, How did this guy get people to volunteer for naked and afraid? Am i crazy? They don’t even pay them. Its because we’ve lost our minds. I dont do it because its only 21 days. Cause, part of me is like free rent? I cant find anywhere to stay for free in America, shit. Campgrounds are even charging insane amounts. What the fuck? So,  my rent is 2700 for a 2 bedroom. Im thinking of naked and afraid as an escape and being naked is the price. I mean shit. If people want to watch my naked ass on tv go for it. I could use losing 30 pounds and knowing you’re watching? Shit, ill make it worth it. Cause on that show everyone is wondering who theyre going to be matched with. Then, its always someone theyll never want to be with. They put one lady on that was like, i hope i can hook up with this guy. And then once she met him was like. This is the one guy on the planet, like i wouldnt even fuck. 

Theyve got some fun shows now. I can watch naked in a jungle, bunny ranches in nevada, everyone likes the propagation of bunnies. Housewives hanging out. Im pissed at my wife for not thinking of that. You say you dont want to work? Why didnt you think to record yourself? You could have been a real housewife of OC! We live in orange county! And you actually have to be in the house. Cause we cant afford to pay someone to clean it! Im just playing, calm down ladies. Im not a guy that  expects his women to be in the kitchen. Im the guy that knows his women are in the kitchen. Lol, kidding kidding. Shit, people get all upset.  Im equal opportunity. Look at you ladies ready to tell your guys its time to go. Lol, shit. My favorite shows are the ones where twisted shit is going on in the show, but everyone is talking about it at work. Yeah, you know what i mean right bro? In Game of Thrones first episode dude bends some chick over and rapes her. I didn’t see any #metoo, outrage, nothing. But, everyone talks around the fucking. Like it didn’t happen. People looking at each other knowing what the other is thinking but nobody says anything. Back in the day, they would be fucking in the copier room while smoking a cigarette. These days? People cant smoke indoors and everyone is like, do you have a current hiv certificate? Its ok to get caught up in the moment. Dont let people scare you. Everything is temporary. And, if it’s not? Nobody in this life matters. It’s God you have to worry about. Everyone else on this planet has their own problems. Live your life.